Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven [to fade]

im suddenly very motivated to study =) thanks to my darling cookiemonster :DDDD hahaha love u laaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! <3 bleah!!!! ROAR!!!! i noe she will read de, so no worries hahaha her phone got prob sia... kelian lor... haix... sad thing im still poor ... haha im 1 day closer to my accoustic guitar!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wa!!!!!!!! cant wait for my accoustic guitar to fall in my hands wahahahaha today brought guitar to skool (finally) and my master, zul played this song that is playing on my blog now, your guardian angel, this song is damn nice!!!! should be played to everyone's gf or bf out there, cos it has a line saying "i'll never let you fall" and "i'll be there for u!!!!" and oso "please dun leave me!!!!" hahaha it really is a nice song!!!! hahaha cookiemonster darling~ dun worry, i will play for u de, on my accoustic guitar!!!! and i still nid learn oso hahaha dun worry, will surely play for u de =) ya and during recess played guitar hahaha i love guitar la!!!!!!! but cookiemonster is loved more =) and before that, SS, i slept =.= very tired sia ... dunno why ... den PE did some strange bonding activities, Mdm wong ain't as bad as i thought la haha even though Mr Lawrence ROCKS!!!!! haha and she praised me doing a good job(WOW?) FYI if u guys dunno, im a PE rep by the way hahaha and i did 38 sit ups in one minute hahaha (NEW RECORD!!!!) actually kinda shocked i can do that fast o.0 haha then after PE had chinese compo test, haha im kinda motivated to do this tiime round, so i wrote a two page compo haha even though its badly written cos im kind of rusty liao haha and ya im happy!!!!! then after that took 113 came back lor ... and then downloaded Naruto Shippuuden to watch hahaha FINALLY!!!! den slacked lor... anyways, Singnet seriously sucks ... its giving me problems AGAIN!!!! its like i type this much den after i click publish post, the screen will show "Internet Explorer Cannot Display The Webpage" den i'll lose everything i wrote, luckily got auto save draft ... but if i go other place i type thing like write comment in friendster or at forum posting things, i cliick "submit" the next page shows the internet explorer blah blah blah de... how u will feel? especially after u type somethhing VERY long ? its like OMG right? i swear im gonna change liao... i pay like $50++++ each month and they give me shit internet connection... even Starhub provides much better connection la and they noo nid put at the stupid telephone line port... and i wun have to put my com at living room and cause all this arguments with my paarents cos of my song too loud and i wun get distracted by the tv and i can blast my music loud loud and the tv noise is oso irritating lor =.= zzz in all, SINGNET TOTALLY SUCKS LA!!!!!! ROAR!!!!! l8r nid go tuition T_T and cookiemonster de phone got prob like cannot sms lor ... sian la!!!!!!!!!!! and my bill burst by 40-50 bucks (OMG!!!!) *faints* i will nid to pay wif my OWN money again ... haix ... 1 step further from my guitarr again ARGHH!!!! hope got ppl will sponsor me =) and l8r the bus concession monthly de my dad is gonna call my mum pay again and my mum will be hard on her ... haix... my stupid dad dunno how to earn money still spend our money and dunwan pay for our stuff... NEVERMIND!!!! 'O' levels de fee is GIRO=my dad's account=$370+++ wahahahahaha REVENGE IS SWEET!!!!!! alright man~ gotta go bath =) and i LOVE cOOKIEMONSTER!!!!!!!!

hmm... change of plan!!!!! im saving up for guitar instead of PSP liao ... my accoustic guitar!!!!!!!!!! im coming!!!!!!!!!!! $180 with bag n tuner =) hehehe until then, wahahahahahahas im high now man~~!!!!! wakakakakakakakakakakakakas~~!!!! and i love my new blogskin!!!!!!

SICK!!!! roar~~~ im freaking sick now ... not sick in the mind =.= hahaha having flu, sore throat, block nose n slight fever, and i still "pia" to skool =.= crap la ... tml chinese test jia lat liao ... always feel like sleeping every second la!!! damn sad ... im sick n i cant do anything =.= eat medicine oso useless ... im dying~~ sore throat damn pain, block nose make me cant breathe T_T i dying la~!!!!!! roar~~!!!! chinese sucks la!!!! kinda nothing to blog leh ... hmm... today in skool slacked whole dayy ... yea really notthing to blog and i miss cookiemonster la!!!!! roar~ cookiemonster~~~ where'd u go? i miss u so~~!!!!

http://www.crushbits.com/findcrush/752116

go try it out!!!!!!! damn zhun ok!!!!! haha
today went skool as normal, only i didn't bring my guitar today lols, kinda lazy to bring liao haha then lessons were BORING!!!! chinese lessons played in our own class haha ... den F&N cooked cheese baked spaghetti ~~ WOW!!!! damn nice ok~~!!!! haaha den after skool had extra physics lesson, wow so tiring liao la... den studied social studies when i was actually playing all along =.= den after that took bus back here to this home ... haha lols...

im forcing myself not to think about it anymore,
so, please dun come back anymore, and give me fake hopes...

back here blogging... morning, leeqin could tell that i was VERY upset ... haix... was it written on my face? zzz... sad man ... seriously ... haix... chem n phy paper i kinda flung-ed it ... too much things were on my mind instead of studies... im afraid all this things happening are gonna affectt my studies... zzz but i juz cant stop thinking bout it ... i slept for like half the time of the two papers -.- zzz den, zul, my shifu taught me a new song, its kinda difficult cos im still a begginner at guitars and myy fingers are stiff!!! OMG... and tomorrow got POA test -.- can i pon? roar~ den after skool had english remedial and den after remedial filmed GGR with daniel haha de first 3 takes we were like laughing like hell ... HAHAHA but i cant hold laughters for long anymore ... den filmed it and u guys can go check it out, gonna post de link at de "Links" section den went buy fried oyster wif egg for my parents, promised dem long ago... den walked home ... half way, then took bus ... den slacked till now ... crap, f&n ain't done yet, POA ain't studied yet, heart ain't recovered yet... 95% damaged and still damaging in progress... wish me get well soon!!!! blog tomorrow and hope leeqin gott my metal pick ... zzz

she called me ... finally ... i was happy ... but... memories came back ...
i was broken down by her ...
i cried ...
she said i didn't wanna talk, she said i was busy, she said i didn't care ...
i wasn't talking cos i was crying, i was busy crying, i cared bout u ...

but now she ain't talking to me anymore ... i miss her ...
why did i cry?
i was talking to her AS A FRIEND then, she told me she cried for last two weeks...
then i told her i cried for last half month ...
den, memories that wasn't supposed to come came ...
i couldn't control myself ... now she is angry ... i have nothing to say ...

i hate crying!!!!

kaying, i cant lie to myself anymore, even though i kept telling myself i dont love u anymore... but .... i still miss u n i love u .. i wanna forget u but i cant ... girl,
IMY


ytd, went compass point ate n studied n bought myself my guitar pick wahahahahas pink colour de xDDDD cool right? lols, and bought my guitar string, the 5th or aka de A hahaha finally... lols, now i can finally play full songs =.= hahaha got time post de pick de pic here ... and saw jessery meimei when gg home haha at de interchange there lols den went tuition ... zzz so tired can? yawns~ haven been sleeping well...

today, brought my guitar to skool and my shifu(master), zul!!! taught me how to tie a string =.= to a guitar ... haha he is de guitar master of my class man~~!!!! haha den creating a song with daniel, its actually long ago but now making de tune.. de song name is "So near, Yet so far" will post de lyrics at de end... all of a sudden im feeling sad ... and Common test ytd, english was kinda easy, i wrote the topic, "Marriage" and today maths was HARD!!! im gonna fail~ tomorrow is gonna be chem n physics... crap!!!! zzz and here is de lyrics,

“So Near, Yet so Far”
Words and lyrics by Daniel & JingKai

I’ve been sitting around
Waiting for someone like you to come around
(to come around)
No matter how long I wait
I know it’ll never be great (never be great)
Even If I’m feeling down
You know I’ll never come around

I’ll know that you won’t be there for me
But you would be the only one I’ll see


Cos I Know
That We can’t go on
But I’ll have to keep staying strong
And I want
To be here with you
But I know
That it can’t be true
So near but yet so far

No matter how I want you
I’ll know I’ll never come through(never come through)
U know I’ll always love you
I’d run a thousand miles to get you
(thousand miles to get you)
You Know I’ve waited for so long
And I need the strength to carry on

I’ll know that you won’t be there for me
But you would be the only one I’ll see

Cos I Know
That we can’t go on
But I’ll have to keep staying strong
And I want
To be here with you
But I know
That it can’t be true
So near but yet so far

You know that I’ve waited for so damn long
No matter what I do I just can’t go on
Keep Telling myself I’d be true to you
I Swear that’s true
You’ll be forever gone

Cos I Know
That we can’t go on
But I’ll have to keep staying strong
And I want
To be here with you
But I know
That it can’t be true

Cos I Know
That We can’t go on
But I’ll have to keep staying strong
And I want
To be here with you
But I know
That it can’t be true
So near but yet so far

So Near But Yet so far…
kaying, this is for u ...

ain't she cute!!!!!!!

i love u, BEARBEAR!!!!! lols... =.=

i miss u girl,

but,

i dunwan 2 disrupt ur normal life ...

im really confused now ...

what should i do?

kill myself? end everything?

somebody help me ...

i seriously miss her but at the same time i wanna let her live her life without this SOAB disturbing her ... but ... she is like ignoring me ... haix!!!! how i hope times can go back to when we juz met, we were purely friends wif abit of ai mei... den we knew dat we like each other... den i loved her ... she loved me too, i hope ... but one day ... she left me ... just like that ... all of a sudden ... and up till today, i still miss her and love her ... i still do ... now ...
kaying, i love u ...
i really do ...

happy valentines day friends =) now at skool, fnn, arghh, sian ... dunno how 2 do oso ... haix ... went to friendster, saw her profile ... that her dat most ppl dunno ... i kinda .. nvm ... =) yea, dun wanna dampen everyone's mood =) haha got quite a few gifts today n still got 1 flower left, anyone wants it? lols...

haix ... SIAN
I MISS YOU
Lam Kaying

i really do ... almost cried juz now, lucky got my lady boss ... or else i cry n broken down liao ...

lalalas~ kinda lazy to blog yea... zzz tired tired tired!!!
monday, went skool PE was de only thing fun ...
tuesday today, went compass after skool bought "valentine" day present for friends =) im so good to my friends can? hahaha bought a tasmania devil for my meimei, her bday present... so ex la =.= lols hahaha nvm la once in a yr can la lols ...
i wan go sleep zzz ...
byebye

yawns~ tired tired tired, woke up today at ard 11am den saw de retard's sms... actually kinda happy :) dunno why ... hahaha dun care la ... den used com awhile, den mum came back and wanted to do house chores den i went to slack with sam's guitar haha play play play den dunno why n how i fell asleep =.=!!! den woke up around 5pm .. its like OMG?! lols and den went to eat at golden mile there hahaha ate fried chicken :D hahaha den after thatt came back hougang paid my bill ... zzz still finding the hot stuff magazine leh ... kns, difficult to find lor ... zzz haix, so sian... lalalas and tml study again ... omfg ... arghh... haix... nvms, lols got time zai blog tml ba =)

hey!!!! back to posting, now is like 2.51am in the morning and im blogging!!! wahahahas lols, today nothing much happened, only went to eat with my cousins n relatives cos today(9/2/08) is my one cousin de birthday, happy birthday weihong!!!! andd happy birthday to my retarded meimei, cianyuh too =) its now 3 am, thanks to my mum who was staring at me juz now =.= lols den force me go bath and blah blah blah and now im back blogging, so, today, as usual, huiyu the retard woke me up AGAIN(thanks ah my alarm clock) and she didn't tag!!! but today she woke me around erm, sayy like 945am if im not wrong lols hahaha yea thanks for waking me up and let me hear my mum nag -.- den my mum left for her supervisor's house to bai nian den me rotted at home =.= watched evan almighty :D very funny hahaha and touching ='( ok, den ard 430pm ruo nee n patrick came to fetch me (THANKS !!!!) to go to wei hong house "assemble" den went to eat at around 6pm plus, eat till around 730 wa so damn full la, rongjian finally came =.= den me, wei hong, wei yang, patrick n merv went to play billard(my 1st time playing) i always play pool de leh zzz... billard so difficult la !!! so long the fcuking table zzz played awhile liao den went down to eat again(dessert) den went to weihong de house played poker, won quite alot AGAIN den today all of us were kinda, shag? yea so came home earlier den we expected ... lalalas, tomorrow gonna sleep whole day hahaha will be waiting for the retard's sms to wake me up lols, hahaha so till then, and to huiyu: dun ever leave without tagging ever again!!!! u freaking bimb0 :P hahaha

dis is de same ritual after dat ferrero rocher was eaten hahaha lols, but its nice!!!!

bleah~ wanted to take pic wif my retarded meimei de but didn't ask ... lols, nvm, next time den ask!!!!!!! wahahahahahahahahas im so high!!!!

warning: this is gonna be a super long post, i guess, o.0 hahaha

6/2/08
went to skool slacked, took sam's guitar(THANKS SAM!!!) den cny celebrations and stuff blah blah den after skool settled THAT thing which i dunwanna say, FINALLY settled, clean n easy, so ppl, dun brring dat up anymore cos im not gonna entertain anymore BS. then, went compass point see de Sonare music school got open anot cos wanna buy guitar string but sadly, no open... zzz haha but i guess hweemin's helping me get(THANKS HM!!!) haha den went straight home, bathed and stuff, slept till like 630pm, then went to bath AGAIN, then rongjian n ruoling came(COOL) ate reunion dinner with them, ate yusheng and was damn full =.= den watched tv for awhile, den 2nd round!!!! lols... den watched some videos on youtube, read HOT STUFF!!! den played HS5 n audition for awhile den played poker wif mum n rongjian n ruoling haha dad "sponsored" $5 for each of us and i dunno why i too pro or wad la hahaha i owned'em all lols!!! but dad took back de money cos for play play nia =.= T.T so sad la!!! lols den rongjian n ruoling left at around 1am liddat den i went to sleep zzz so tired ...

7/2/08
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!
lols, early in de morning was woken up by de retard(HUIYU) de sms ... zzz roar!!!! im still sleeping u noe? lols haha den bathed and waited for rongjian, ruoling, ruonee and patrick to come fetch me haha thanks guys!!! went to their ah kim(my long long long relative i guess haha)de hse den ate nice stuff cos their ah kim is a great cook!!! YUM!!!! and they prayed b4 eating, hmm it has been a long time since i last prayed, oops =X haha den slacked at their house for awhile, left at around 3 plus to another relative hse, i dunno call them wad de lols, den saw a few long time no see relatives, first long time no see de is de 3 sisters de smallest sister hahaha e one dat always lose money to me when playing poker hahaha grow prettier liao lols, wanna get her number keep in contact de but in de end didn't lols den 2nd in line is sixing!!! hahaha still as short as ever de HAHA!!! but she really very short la~ no choice haha oso wanted to get her number to keep in contact de but she left too sudden ... sadded haha nvm~
den oso saw ruiping(i dunno spell correct anot) de BOSS of yuying(the skool im in now) he was there like dunno how many donkey years ago when yuying was in chaos where they can fight in front of principal and de principal and VP couldn't do shit lols!!! but shockingly, mr neo was there then, it was ard erm...1993 if im not wrong lols!!! den after ruiping was rongjian who went to yuying den merv den me hahaha like a tradition sia...
back to the point!!! lost quite alot of money at the relative's house(SADDED)but after that went to 4th uncle's house won quite alot, $10 plus hahaha so happy haha den until like 1+ am den went back in merv's car haha den slept at 3 am =.=!!! OMG!!!

8/2/08(today)
woke up at 8 am AGAIN!!! cos of the retard(HUIYU) AGAIN hahaha actually is i call her sms me de la so cant blame her =X den told her i sms her again den went back to sleep, woke up at around 1pm plus, bathed and stuff and waited for my dad's bro to come fetch me go a relative de hse den went there, slacked abit, went compass point walk walk (their hse is de condo beside compass point) but there was nth to walk =.= my cousins ate burger king den we went back awhile den went to my aunt de hse haha which is near skool yay!!! haha den went to buy kfc n pizza hut for de others to eat(my aunty paid of cos) haha den went back eat eat eat awhile den i went down to skool there de playground play and chat wif my retarded meimei cianyuh!!! hahaha missed her loads!!! she juz came back from malaysia today haha den still played and chatted with her until 10pm like dat her brother was there oso haha i kinda TRASHED her bro at this game called gundam seed rengou vs zaft hahaha oops =X den they went back haha my meimei really cheer me up haha LOVE U LOADS MEI~~!!!!! haha den walked back my aunt de hse slacked awhile den jiu came home le haha watched naruto ep 46 den jiu come here blog and poor guowei is like waiting for me to post finish so much things hahaha and at last now is over 12 am which means its 9/2/08 so,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RETARDED MEIMEI!!!!!
die, still haven get her gift, must faster go buy lols!!! tasmania devil yea? hahaha bye, post again later at night!!! thanks guowei for seeing de typo lol de date i wrote 08/08/08 =.= hahaha

05022008
this day, i no longer respect this person who WAS my bestfriend
ditched his friends, his passion, juz to be with a FUCKING FLIRT BITCH
oops, im trying to be sarcastic here, so, ppl who support dat FUCKING FLIRT BITCH, go away, i dun welcome u, kindly fuck off, thanks ;D

so, here we go
dat bitch, said fucked up ppl are all around dde world, which i feel she is one of'em who is somebody dat flirts throughout her life, and use guys to ain attention, its juz "suay" dat dis friend of mine was "caught" by u bitch, but, dun get cocky bitch cos its only a friend, which is lost... and dun say other ppl are big fucks, we know we are big, bigger den u dis small lil fly~ and we are not talking behind ur back, im writing all dis right here, for u , dis fucking bitch to see!!!! GUANG MING ZHENG DA!!!!!!! u wan settle dis thing, come lor, i not scared de, not happy jiu talk face to face, dun talk at the victim's friendster and saying urself like a holy saint when ure a fucking bitch, i've had enough of all this bitch, i hate u to de core and i cannot lie... one of my friends, said, she is so cheap dat i feel she is cheaper den a prostitute, at least prostitute have dis name "prostitute" and they earn money, not like dis fucking bitch who goes around flirting, gaining ppl attention and using guys, so basically, she juz goes around, "suck" dry dat personn and throw him alone, get it? ;D i noe u guys like my explaination, and to anyone who says "why dun dare post her name? scared get beaten? hum ji isit" my answer to u is, im too nice, i dunwan l8r ppl cry in humiliation in skool :D dats my answer =) so, takecare my friends and beware, dun get caught by the bitch ;D

yos~~ finally back to blogging haha lazy n no time to blog past few days hah
today went bugis wif kelvin n joseph(ah yap)
bought quite alot of stuff hmm lets see
1. "faster" t-shirt
2. "MUGEN" polo tee X2(diff design of cos)
3. cardigen wif hole in heart t-shirt
4. I.P zone jeans
should be liddat ba ... if im not wrong hahaha ok got time den post pics here ba ...


im feeling sick lately, i feel like dying without u ...
if it was last tme, u would be caring bout me...
sorry for the wrong things that i've done ...
forgive me ... give me 1 last chance ...
trust me my angel, trust the little devil for once, will ya?